The good news is I found out today I did not tear a thing in my knee: my MRI showed nothing of the extremely bad variety, which pleased me greatly. I must truly slow down, however, and let my knee heal.
I told a friend of mine today that I will finally enjoy being a slug after a month and, frankly, will probably not want to go back to being a productive citizen again. Ever.
I even watched The Price is Right in my jammies on the couch. It has come to this. I am a game show junkie, true confession, but hadn't watched TPIR for the 6 months since I started going to exercise classes. My standard operating procedure was my stationary bike and TPIR. My daily happy pill. Now I ride (rode -- past tense) my bike only on Saturday and Sunday and, sigh, no TPIR.
Unfortunately, there was a double overbid in the showcase today. No trip to London or Mini-Cooper (in the same showcase! I would have bid $30,000. She bid $32,000 and was over. I would have won.) I knew you needed to know.
So, back to my MRI. I have not had one before and was a bit concerned about the verysmallspace. I was only up to my chest (thanked God profusely I didn't sprain my arm) but that was close enough in petite room with Mammoth Machine.
The long lights in said-too-small-tunnel reminded me of those crack and shake neon bracelets my kids wear. That made me smile but I couldn't look down the tunnel too long or the too-small-factor began to kick in.
I know I wasn't supposed to move, but I could still move my eyeballs, so around I went, catching everything I could: "Laser Aperture. Do not stare into beam" was a funny little sign above my head. Aperture? That almost made me laugh out loud but I figured that was illegal so I tried to figure out where the laser would even come from. Two little light bulbs that looked like the size in pen lights never did turn on but they were red, so I was appropriately concerned.
The timer above my head was the only other link I had to reality and I found it comforting that at least my time could be counted in some form. Because let me just say, putting a knitter in a position to not move and be happy about it without knitting seems a bit ludicrous, don't you think? There really isn't any reason I couldn't use plastic needles (no Addi Turbo's -- I get that) and knit a garter stitch scarf at least.
My hand did fall asleep midway which caused my body a bit of trauma but that was a welcome shift because my toes kept twitching involuntarily and the whole time I feared I would have to go to the bathroom.
The technician could not be more concerned about me (at least 10 years younger than me, probably 15 if I am honest with the world) and that was nice since he wasn't my family or friends who had to be concerned under the threat of love and friendship. (Don't remind me of the huge amount of money I am paying for the MRI. Let me enjoy my ignorance.)
The knocking started. This also made me almost laugh because the pings sounded random and sounded like I was laying smack in the middle of a pinball game (also a favorite of mine) and I wanted to make sure I didn't get hit. But, alas, she did not move! I had to hit her!
Then the automatic rifle started shooting at me, which is not a happy-flowers-in-the-green-grass thought, so I decided I was shooting from my toes. More internal laughter. I hit every single bad man across the street in that apartment building no one talks about. Yes, that one. I am very high up, close to the top floor so I can see everything. Everything.
The shaking of the train almost put me to sleep at one point and I could see the trees and the green carpet whooshing past. My family and I took many train trips growing up and the hum of the train at night was a welcome cradle.
But then the automatic rifle came back, and well, no more nap for me and back to taking care of more very bad guys.
Before I knew it, the technician told me I was finished and I truly don't know how I lived through 40 minutes of what looked like pool cue chalk marks around my "Laser Aperture" sign. We could be watching a movie in that space. Think about how you could catch up on all of the Knitting Daily episodes you missed? Okay, maybe only two, but time well spent.
The technician told me I could ride the lift down if I promised not to fall off. I promised. He smiled as he said, "That would be too much paperwork."
Indeed.
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